ANONYMOUS

If anyone knows otherwise and would care to email me. I'll amend the attribution

Theory of relativity: The more relatives are visiting you, the slower the time passes

Virtually all reasonable laws are obeyed, not because they are the law, but because reasonable people would do that anyway. If you obey a law simply because it is the law, that's a pretty likely sign that it shouldn't be a law.

Love your country but fear its government.

Most of us can keep a secret. It's the people we tell it to who can't.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got.

The optimist says we live in the best of all possible worlds and the pessimist fears this is true

 If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to treat everything as if it were a nail.  

A dialect is a language without an army.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't.

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.

Accident : A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better.

All great truths begin as blasphemies.

All power corrupts, but we need the electricity.

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.

Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

England and America are two countries separated by the same language.

Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did. ymous

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some people just don't have film.

He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches.

He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.

I am a Marxist of the Groucho tendency. ymous, French slogan

 I can accept anthing, except what seems to be the easiest for most people: the half-way, the almost, the just-about, the in-between.

I have not lost my mind it's backed up on disk somewhere.

I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.

If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.  

If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got.

If you're never scared or embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take any chances.

Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.

 Lack of money is the root of all evil.

 Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones.

Most of those flowers are volunteers. ymous

Most of us can keep a secret. It's the people we tell it to who can't.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man.

Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, faith looks up.

The 505090 rule: Anytime you have a 5050 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me.

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

Theory of relativity: The more relatives are visiting you, the slower the time passes.

There's a pinch of the madman in every great man.

To retain respect for sausages and laws, one must not watch them in the making.

We have not lost faith, but we have transferred it from God to the medical profession.

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