QUOTES

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody has read.
A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
Any power must be an enemy of mankind which enslaves the individual by terror and force, whether it arises under the Fascist or the Communist flag. All that is valuable in human society depends upon the opportunity for development accorded to the individual.
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Courage is not the lack of fear, it is acting in spite of it.
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first
Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom.
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
I bring you the stately matron named Christendom, returning bedraggled, besmirched and dishonored from pirate raids in Kiao-Chow, Manchuria, South Africa and the Philippines, with her soul full of meanness, her pocket full of boodle and her mouth full of pious hypocrisies. Give her soap and a towel, but hide the looking-glass.
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him. (1835 - 1910)
Now what I contend is that my body is my own, at least I have always so regarded it. If I do harm through my experimenting with it, it is I who suffers, not the state.
In God We Trust. It is the choicest compliment that has ever been paid us, and the most gratifying to our feelings. It is simple, direct, gracefully phrased; it always sounds well In God We Trust. I don't believe it would sound any better if it were true.
It ain't the parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.
It was the schoolboy who said, "Faith is believing what you know ain't so."
Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.
Let me make the superstitions of a nation and I care not who makes its laws or its songs either.
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
Loyalty to a petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to.
Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. -- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
The Government is merely a servant. It cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them. [American author, 1835-1910]
The institution of royalty in any form is an insult to the human race.
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist
Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.
Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.
Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn?t do, than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream ..
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
When in doubt, tell the truth. - Mark Twain
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
Oscar Wilde	Assorted other quotes