Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.

I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.  

Eternity's an awfully long time, especially near the end

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.